Parshas Mattos Masei: You Weren't Meant to Do This Alone - The Floater Trap

Welcome And The Three Weeks

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Welcome into the weekly Parsha podcast. My name is Michal Brook. Thanks for joining us. This week was a busy week. And it's always pleasing to be able to have this time etched out for us to come together and talk words of Torah, words of musir, to get heated about something, to get passionate about something, to turn our brains on. This week we have in store something that does get us a little amped up. I'm excited about it. Wherever you are listening from, however long you have been a part of the weekly Parsha podcast and a part of the Motivation Congregation Podcast Networks of Shows, don't forget to slap that subscribe button, slap that like button, slap that donate button, slap that share button, in whatever order you want to do those four things. But it helps to grow the reach of the show and in a not so roundabout way, gives you a real chalek in our efforts to be Marbitz Torah and bring competition. This week was a busy week because it's it's one of the weeks of the three weeks. A time that's marked in the Jewish calendar to mourn what we have lost and the falling of the political structure of Torah Judaism, the falling of the epicenter of the Torah world, the Basam Migdash, Zion. We mourn for it. It's always a time period that comes out during the summer, and a lot of effort and introspection needs to be done and had in order to truly connect with this lofty concept that isn't tangible, isn't present. It's hard to know what we lost. So effort is needed. It's a busy week because it's been Hasmanim. The schedules are different. The kids come and go at different times. Yeshivas come and go at different times. Schools, seminaries come and go at different times. Some have off, some have on. One half, two halves. Things are different. That's all part of the fun of the summer. It's parsha's matos mase, which makes things really exciting because it's a double parsha. You put those two parshios together. I believe we have something like two hundred and twenty six Psukim that will be read from the Balkore's lips on Shabbos, and that will enter into your eardrums, hopefully. And hopefully the lessons will dive deep into your recesses of your heart. But that's the longest set of psukim that we will ever read in a weekly parja. So that means there's a lot to unpack. Not to be forgotten, last but not least, it's also Shabbos Mivarchim. We're going to bless the new month, the month of Av, which of course a lot needs to be understood and a lot needs to be thought about as we enter into that unique month. I guess things are also exciting and busy because the in-laws are in town. The in-laws back from Japan going to see God's beautiful world and rejuvenate themselves to be able to continue their holy advaitas Hashem. They're in town. So things are exciting. And all of this makes it even more exciting that when we finally get to put on our headphones, airpods, Bluetooth, or wired, and come together and learn Hashem's

Parsha Matos Masei Snapshot

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Torah. The Parsha itself is where we start. We'll do a quick little quick little synopsis before we begin our ranting and well, passion, hopefully, and understanding, hopefully. The Parsha tells about the war with Midyun. Always interesting when Hashem says, go and and bother these people, go and destroy them, go and really wreak havoc on them. It really tells you about what real evil is, how to distribute the spoils. Very interesting. The Parsha tells us exactly how much spoils and booty they collected. We all learn about the Transjordan settlement between Ruve and God, half of the Shavit of Menasha, and how they secured the pasture land east of the Jordan, on the condition that they still lead the rest of Israel into conquering Canaan first. That's an entire episode that many halachos are learned out in the laws of negotiations, the laws of contracts, the laws of clarity, and most importantly, if I may say, the Torah going back and forth and describing and transcribing the negotiations between the tribes in Moshe, Rabiruchum points out, is proof that Masa umatan al Yedei Hahalakha, that fighting and negotiating in business to try to get it done right according to what God wants is included in the Torah. It's a mitzvah, it's Torah doing business and negotiating, trying to get to the truth. That kind of idea being brought in the Torah shows us how important it is to negotiate and really even do business. Trying to get to the actual truth really can be included in the Torah. The promised land and the refuge is included. We learn about the cities of refuge, the borders of the entire state of Israel that are different from how they are today. Don't forget the forty-two different journeys. The Torah recounts, the traveling from Israel, from the Itzies Mitzraim, forty-two stops to their final encampment in the plans of plains of Moab. Before the Parsha concludes, with the daughters of Tslavchud who marry within their own tribe of Manasha to ensure they are inheriting the proper estate and the remains within the family and within the tribe. A packed

The Concept That Changed Me

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parsha. And instead of trying to force a segue from somewhere in the parsha to the concept we want to talk about, I'd like to cut the segue and just jump right into it. It's a concept that I want to talk with you today that has been a constant present in my life, but I completely missed its immense value until just recently. This concept my dad always says, don't pump things up and blow them out of proportion. Just tell the people what you're going to tell them and then say it and then tell them what you told them, but my father should forgive me. It's much more fun to pump it up and get the ilong hyped. But until recently, this concept that finally slapped me in the face, it completely shifted my perspective when I noticed it. And my goal today is that this concept should leave the same impact, the same positive impact. Sorry. And I opening experience that it did for me, it should happen for you.

Leaving Yeshiva For Work

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You see, recently I went through one of the toughest challenges in life. It was a unique period that I thought I was prepared for, but apparently I wasn't. It's a period of time when young gentlemen will go through a transformation in their lives. No, not puberty, but when they will leave their school system, their kolal system, their incubators of Judaism, and will venture into the great unknown of the business world. You go from a state of a young, still wet behind the ears, fledging little chap, incubated within the crisp waters of God's holy Torah, and you're transitioning into a world that feels very mundane, where you have to be a part of things against your will that you'd rather not, where you have to see things against your will that you'd rather not, where each day can bring you to places that you have never gone before, but wished and wished that you would never have to go. But because God commands that by the sweat of your brow, should you support your family, the job must be done. The mortgage must be paid. So you go to the workforce and it spends months of time called the transition period. That is incredibly hard. These couple months, it's it's kind of like when you're on an airplane, and it's easy to cruise, even autopilot the plane while you're at 30,000 feet. But at the beginning, in the end, when there's a transition, it's a lot more bumpy. When you're taking off on an airplane, that's a lot more bumpy. When you're landing in an airplane, moving to a new chapter, it's a lot more bumpy. So when transitioning into a different stage of life, it's bumpy.

A Practical Torah Learning Plan

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So I asked my Rosh Yeshiva, I said, Rebbe, holy Reb Nassenstein, help me out. How do I navigate this confusing time period properly? I know that I'm not going to be able to study as much Torah as I had. I know that my opportunities are going to be uniquely different, and I'm going to be inundated with things that I'm not used to. New challenges are gonna come up. What should be my perspective? He said, You gotta keep learning Torah, Michal. You gotta still learn Torah. Be Gistabo Yomovalila. No matter what's going on in your life, even if you are spending hours at the office, running around to different showings, hopefully, signing contracts, hopefully, closing deals, hopefully. Getting paid, hopefully, but you still have to learn Torah. That's a law. A little Torah by day, a little Torah by night. Do you know that? You have to learn by day, and you have to learn by night. At least one paragraph, at least one word, maybe two words wouldn't kill you. But then I said, okay, so Rebbe, how should I structure my day? What should I learn? Wanted to get total clarity. He said, you should learn Gemara, you should learn something that will keep your interest, keep you informed, keep you educated, keep you sharp. Sometimes monotonous, robot-like reading of Torah may still slightly fulfill the obligation of Torah study, but doesn't keep one's mind thinking about it after or before. Without the need to review and gain clarity and quench the mind and heart's thirst for the depth and reasoning behind the Torah, sometimes we can still feel disattached from the Torah. So learn Gimara. Learn in depth. Get the reasons behind Torah. Learn Rashi, learn Tosos, get it. But don't learn too fast, he said. Or you'll just after a couple days, when you have very busy schedules and you have to miss a day or two, you'll fall behind. If they're moving quickly, you won't be able to catch up, eventually you'll throw away the whole thing and you'll be stuck with zero. So learn at a proper and attainable, sustainable pace. But then he said it. But then he said it. He said it with earnestness. He said it multiple times, did the Holy Roshiva. He said, learn Torah. When you're going through this tumultuous time period and for the rest of your life, learn Torah day and night. How should you do it? He said, the best thing you can do is join a chaburah. Join a chabura. He kept reiterating it. Join a chaburah. That's the best way for you to learn Torah and keep yourself grounded and happy and connected. Join a Kabura. That's interesting. Does that mean just join a Sheer? Does the rabbi just want me to feel like I'm learning Torah or other people could see me or that I could see them? What's the point of joining a Khaburah? What did he mean? I'll tell you what I thought, I think, and continue to think the Rush Ashiva meant.

Real Estate Teamwork And Belonging

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And it came to me because of our company, Imperial Real Estate's recent bonding trip to Utah. You see, the way the real estate business works is that once you get your 75 hours of training to be a real estate agent in New Jersey, you then have to pass the exam that's administered by PSI. You need to then get your license, join the New Jersey Real Estate Committees, Commissions group of realtors. Now you are officially licensed, but you still cannot sell real estate until you hang that license at a broker's office. A broker is someone who spent 150 hours and multiple years. I believe it's 150 hours of training and I believe five hours. I think that was a question on the test. I'm sorry. Five years in real estate already? Maybe it's three years? Anyway, you have to join one of those fellows' companies, and then you can sell real estate underneath the broker's name. So it's a big decision where an agent signs and hangs his license. Each brokerage offers different malos vehestronos, pros and cons. Some will say, come work for us. We don't charge anything, and you keep everything. But they barely help you. They barely connect you with anyone. They barely take care of you. Some will say, we'll give you a lot, give you leads, give you clients, give you an office, but we'll charge you a lot to stay there. Some will say, if you're not really interested and we're not really interested, you can just hang your license up for free. We want to keep a percentage of the money. Some will say there's many different subscription packages and agreements and split commission agreements of how much you keep how much you give back, how much they keep, and how much they give back. And all this is part of making your decision of where to go. I chose Imperial Real Estate because they had a nice staff. There really was a realtor there that I believe is a model realtor for how to do it right. And I wanted to be and learn from him, so I went there. But also because they have Mincha at the perfect time at the office, right near to where the kids need to be picked up. No joke. And it was at a time that works for the rest of my schedule. I also just had a really good interview with the people that run the company. They look like honest Torah Jews. So I started. And life is good. But the split, which means the amount of money that I keep in each deal versus the amount of money that the brokerage keeps, is not the best compared to other brokerages. So when the payment comes in from a deal that I closed, I have to give a big slice of it to Imperial Real Estate. And that hurts. But after the Utah bonding trip, where the company decided to have an all-expenses paid trip, a bonding trip, where all 20 or 30 or so agents come together to a house where we went dirt biking and swimming and divining and learning and jokes were had and wine was poured and meat was had and bonding happened. You know what happened during that trip? I felt a part of something. And I felt that people knew me, wanted me to succeed, and actually were investing in me. I knew that they always were involved, but I started to understand how much I actually get from the company and why it is such a good decision to get make them a part of my success and give them a part of my check because I'm gaining much more by being there because of the team that's around me. But because I have a place, people know me. And if I'm not there, they call and ask me, where are you? And having a sense of belonging, being a part of something is undeniably one of the most important things in a person's success. I'll tell you, this concept is actually, I believe, at the heart of what Rabbi Stein meant when he said join a khaburah.

Why A Chaburah Keeps You Strong

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Join a khaburah in learning. Because let me tell you, when you join a khaburah in learning, or you join a brokerage, you're thinking about joining a brokerage, you want to not just do it by yourself. You can't succeed by yourself. It requires a team. When you join a khabura, the human body is not meant to just go by itself, stick to itself, and not rely on anything. You're supposed to branch out the more people you're connected to, the more people that you positively affect, the more people that you can positively gain from, the more connected you are, the holier the Jew that you are. When you join a Khaburah, you're not only studying Torah in the very wisdom-filled books alone in your study and becoming wiser. But when you study with a Khaburah, you're now becoming one with a group that is fully involved in Avoida's Hashem, and you start to feel this warm and juicy connection to happy, healthy people that are all together walking the path towards Hashem. When you join a Khabura, when people call and say, Hey, I didn't see you at the shir today, it feels good. You feel like you belong, and you need that, and I need that. We need to belong. When you join a Khaburah, there's subtle jealousy when someone else understands the Gemara better than you, or someone else is succeeding more than you, and that's a good thing because that coaxes you with your own honest and positive honor seeking. You want to feel good about yourself, you want to have a positive self-image, so you wanna show up at the shear. It makes you not miss Shiuram. It makes you work that much harder to pay attention, to put the phone on silent so that you can actually understand what the Gemara or the Mishnah is talking about. When you're with a Khabura, it cannot be overstated that your Torah learning will last that much longer, be that much more successful. It's like joining a yeshiva, even though you're no longer in Yeshiva. The Chazanish writes about this. It's letter 19, where it seems that someone asked him about some despondency, some spiritual atrophy, and the Chazanish responds in the most beautiful, straightforward, and honest way about how he longs to see the success of the young man, the young chap, and how he says, when you're a part of uh yeshiva, you find that one good friend. It makes your whole experience better. When you have Kiruv with your friends and with your Khabura, it creates this happy-hearted, positive experience. He elaborates on the concept. You should see his words precisely inside in letter 19, as he was very precise with his words. And I'm, well, less precise, but trying to give it over in the way that I understood it. That when you join something, it becomes more of a fix for so many of the items that get in the way of someone steiging. It makes your m'urivima bryos, it makes you feel like you belong, it makes you happy, it makes your outlook on life different, and the learning is better, and the steiging is greater. Just from joining good chaburos, good yeshivos, you know, and BMG. It's not divided up by classrooms. It's not divided up by grades. It's divided up by fellowships, by groups of people coming together to form a chabura. The highest level of Torah, the greatest Torah scholars in the world are divided up by Khaburos. Haburos, Haburos. That's how you learn Torah. That's how you navigate. Trying to pick your brokerage. That's how you navigate, trying to shag. Join a chabura. This concept is passionately our rant this week. Because while it may not seem that important to you, join a chabura, okay. I'm a part of some chaburos. No, no, no. Are you really a part? Are people going to know that you're bought into it? It's uniquely this concept is this week's partial because I've noticed something that I can struggle from, and I together with my friends are trying to not struggle from.

The Danger Of Being A Floater

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It's called the horrible sickness of being a floater. In 2026, so many people, quote unquote, go through the system. They could go to the best yeshivos. They could have friends, they could have family, they could get married, they could buy a house, but somehow they don't belong anywhere. Somehow they lost connection with their Rebbe, they lost connection with their yeshiva, they lost connection with their old friends. They're involved in their business by themselves in a sales job alone. They don't dive in at a shoal and don't have a roof. They rent a house because they need to have a house somewhere that's affordable, and they dive in at a minion factory at different times every day. They go to their job and they learn by themselves, but they're floaters. And to float is dangerous. It makes you feel like you don't belong. It doesn't ground you. You can go and do anything at any time because you're not expected anywhere. You don't have a rov to answer the tricky questions that come up every day. My wife wants to go to her house for Shabbos, and I want to go to my house for Shabbos. Don't you want to talk about that with someone that you trust? I'm not sure who I should use to do the bristomila. I want someone that I trust. My parents want this person, but I'm not really sure. Don't you want to talk that over with someone that you trust? Don't you want a weekly drusher from the rov to hit you in the heart every week, to make you feel a part of something, that you're on track, pacing yourself, trying to go rung by rung from somewhere to something? You need to be a part of a khabura to have that. I mean, I guess if you're the Ramchal, you don't. When you're just alone by yourself, you can do it. But generally, most of us need to be a part of a group that's doing it. You need to be a part of someone who joins a team. You can't be a lone star. If you're a parent, it's important that you turn your family into a chabura. Make your kids feel they belong there. We have a team. Each kid is part of the team. They feel a sense of belonging. They feel a sense of if I'm not there or I miss something or it doesn't go well, my family cares about me. If you're a rabbi or a rebe at any capacity or counselor, I'd imagine God would want you to create your classroom into a khabura, a fellowship of members all coming together as one to do something special that people feel a part of it. As kids, we need to buy in. I guess I'm not really a kid if I'm turning 30 next year, but as a relatively young person, we need to strive to. Be a part of it. Pay attention. Buy in. Buy in. Don't just go through the motions. Buy in. Try to try to join the chaburos that you will be a part of, and you'll naturally steige like a current through the ocean. If you just jump in it, you're caught up by it. You're affected by it. And joining a khabura, being a part of a chabura, being a part of a learning program. Everyone's together doing something in a dynamic, unique way. That's the best way that I know how to steige. It's the best way to not suffer from the treacherous illness of just being afloater and not belonging anywhere.

Rav Hutner And Being Seen

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That only leads to depression. You know who's the champion at this? Rav Hutner. That's what I heard from a great historian who talked to one of the old 90-year-old fellows who was still Davening, walking to Yeshiva to Daven and learn by Rev Hutner. He was no longer in Yeshiva, but he stayed by Revutner. And when asked, what kept you here all these years? You kept coming back. You never left. He said there was one year. I can't imagine this. This would be terrible. It's like my nightmare. When on Yom Kippur evening, the second evening, as it was getting towards sunset and the sun was waning, and Na'ila had beginned. began, this fellow got a stomachache. He had to step out of Davinang. He had to use the stall, the base Hakise, and miss Nailah. Can you imagine? It happens. We're people. He probably was Putter, Bal Tishaksu. But when he came back in, towards the end of Na'ila and finished up in Davin Marav and Kirishlavana, Revhutner, Revhutner, the grand Rusheshiva, who was totally cloaked in his talus. Everyone knew that the Na'ila, he looked like a malach. He was in a different world. Revhutner came over to the guy afterwards and said, Rabid, Reb Yasi, Reb Bhisha, where were you? You weren't in there with us for Na'ilah. We missed you. Are you okay? How's it going? What happened? Did something happen to you? And this fellow explained, No, of course, Rebbi, I was there, but you know, this guy said, You know why I never left Rev Hutner? Because he always noticed when I was there and noticed when I wasn't. Reb Hutner knew how to make a khabur out of people, make people feel like they belong. This guy said, I belong somewhere. I belong by Rev Hutner. He sees he's the ultimate Jew in our generation. He's otherworldly, he's literally through the seven heavens connecting with God, but yet he's more open. He is as open and understanding of his basic surroundings and making sure that everyone is seen and noticed. Seen and noticed. That's called creating creating a khabura. That's called creating a generation of non-floaters, people that belong to something, a fellowship

Commit So People Notice You

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for God. There's a lot more to this word, but we're gonna end. Khabur itself to this concept, it comes up by the carbon pesach, and everyone needs to be a chabura achas. You need to create a chabura to be able to eat the carbon pesoch. You have to be a part of one. The idea of chhabura and how the malbim explains the word, which also means a wound or bruise, and how that can be dissimilar from a chaval or hachovel or some other type of bruise, but chabura is some sort of joining like chaver. But the point is, whether it's a risa or it's your fifth grade kid's sheer that you are sitting in every day as the grand rebe for, something that you're connected to, some sort of Torah fellowship, some sort of shul. Walk longer out of your way to be a part of one shul that you daven at, so that you're a part of a chabura of Jews. Be noticed. Make yourself that if you're not there one day, that it's noticeable. That kind of level of commitment to a chaburah, and then you'll see Hatzlacha. You're almost guaranteeing yourself Hatzlaha because people around you are coaxing you to study. Join a group for whatever it is that you want to be successful at. It takes a team to succeed. I love working where I work because I feel a part of a team. There's competition who can do the most sales. There's trash talk. There's a team of titling and marketing and support and secretaries and CEOs and directors of finance that all know what I'm good at, what I'm bad at, where I need help. And I'm happy to share my check with them because I believe I get so much more from them. It takes encouragement to succeed, which a lot of times takes surrounding people in your khabura. It takes competition to succeed, to coax you to work harder. When you're a part of a group, a larger khaburah, you receive all the good aspects and you don't feel like you're a lost floater just going through the motions alone. And that's critical. If you don't feel like you belong, instead you are a floater, you will feel hopeless, despondent at many times. Commit to a holy fellowship, a khabura for Torah or Tfila, a musurvad, something, a group of people that you're so committed to that if you miss it one time, people will notice it. If you do this, if you join a khaburah, you'll love staging. You'll love being a part of something. You'll love that you're not afloater. And you'll also see, with Hashem's help, that when you leap into a holy chabura, it makes your Hatzlacha, it makes your success very, very attainable.