Parshas Vayishlach: Wrestling with Angels, Redefining Success, and Embracing LEVADO

0:00 Wow, today was a hectic day. After running around trying to go house hunting, figuring out how my family and I can find an affordable property that we could truly build a biased M&B Estrella Lachey Multifarious that has a backyard and a swing set. And the swing set nothing fancy but just enough to have the in-laws over but also keep them at arm's distance, keep the parents at arm's distance but be able to have guests Be able to have. Really it's about having the grandparents so they can come and give hugs and kisses to the grandkids and everyone should live and be well to get there and we believe in the Almighty that we will be led to the promised land.

0:49 But until that point, as I sit here in the Motivation Congregation studios at 653 on Thursday December 12th, it's been a hectic day of meeting different agents, calling different realtors, mortgage brokers, figuring out what different fees and closing costs are possible issues and what can you do about construction loans, and trying to access certain amounts of cash and mortgage rates. It was getting overwhelming and almost no time was going to be left to record the weekly Parsha podcast 2024. Tafshin Peihei of Parsha's Vayishlach.

1:29 So I decided I'll put pen to paper, I'll take the notes, figure out what I want to say and how to say it, and then we'll hit record. And then we'll hit record and we won't apologize for any content that is either stretches a bit too far or is a bit underdone, because this is a moment of solitude, a moment of levado, a moment of well, when all else fails and when life gets hectic. Put on the headphones, press record. Figure out what the Gemara in Sanhedrin means, what the Rashi means and what lesson is behind here, and submerge yourself, immerse yourself in the brilliantly plentiful and rejuvenating waters of Hashem's holy Torah.

2:27 So let us begin with a couple questions. It's a good place to start, ladies and gentlemen. Today I bring to you, unapologetically and unequivocally, the answer to the following questions. Number one how do you define success, victory, triumph? What is it? Is it when you accomplish something? How do you define question number two? Two if you are a smart person, is it based on IQ?

3:10 And how do you describe your physical strength? Are you a strong person? Really, if you see the underpinnings of these questions, it's all in one area and we could keep going. But always beginning a talk with questions to make something personal to someone is a good place to start, but really it's all boiled into? In today's generation, when there's so much at our fingertips and we can accomplish so much and we want success, well, can we concretize it, define it and figure out in one single sentence what Hatzlacha in smarts, strength and financial success is?

3:55 And the answer is yes. It was that same night that he arose, taking his two wives and his maidservants and the eleven sons, and he crossed the ford of the Yabuk river, yaakov, taking them across the stream, across with his possessions. But then Jacob was left alone and out of nowhere a figure turns up, the spirit of his evil brother, esau. And the figure wrestled with him until the break of dawn. And when he saw that he could not prevail against him, he wrenched Jacob's hip, knocked it out of its socket, strained him, and they wrestled until he said now let me go, for dawn is breaking.

4:49 But he answered I will not let you go unless you first give me a. Bracha, said Jacob, what's your name? They exchange a couple more pleasantries. Yaakov, as the sun rises, limps on his hip, continues on his journey and we get the mitzvah of. Therefore, the Jewish people should not eat this thigh muscle, the sciatica nerve where Jacob was hit. Yaakov Avinu was hit by the Malach Commentators, discuss why we don't eat it, but the mitzvah of G'dan Asher, the third and final mitzvah of Sefer Bereshit.

5:35 But I'd like to focus on what Chazal find to be a very unique attribute and something that defines the Jewish people in our history and defines success. It's the Hebrew words of Paraklamet Bez Yaakov left alone, the lone wolf, in solitary, unattended, available for attack. The Ye'evok. They dusted and they fought. Ishimu Adalos, hashachar Yaakov was left alone. Vayivoser Yaakov Levado. These words Rashi points out.

6:17 He's left alone. And why is he alone? Because he had forgotten some small jugs, some jars he'd left back on the other side of the fork or the ford of the Yabok River. He went back to get them after he ferried over his family already, and now he's left alone. But Chazal see here an attribute that defines Yaakov Avinu in that he is a character who is levado. He is alone at this moment and this moment of destiny where he's fighting with this enemy force so much of what Gullas represents is so coming through here as to being left alone in a diaspora fighting against Esau's descendants Yaakov remained alone.

7:02 Chazal say that there's this attribute called Levado. What does it mean? Bereshish Rabba 71. 1 Ayin Aleph, aleph, rabbi Barachia, b'shem Reb Simon Omar something unbelievable. Ein Koel Omi, koel Yeshurun, yisrael Saba. There is none like God. Something unbelievable. There is none like God. But who is like God? If we had to compare, it would be Yishurim, it would be Israel, it would be Yaakov the Elder. How is Yaakov like God? Because Yaakov liked God.

7:43 Ma ha-Kadosh Baruch Hu Kosuv Bo In Yeshaya Be'ez Yodzayin. It's written by the Almighty Ve'niskav Ve'niskav Hashem levado, hashem levado Iba yoy mahu. That Hashem On that day Will be exalted Alone. Ve'niskavashem levado. Unchaperoned partlerlessness, totally self-sufficient, solo, lone, single. That is the godless and glory of Hashem. Av Yaakov has this attribute vavosar Yaakov Levado, his own entity, an island of sorts.

8:31 He is Levado. Reb Yerucham points out in a very deep piece that this year, after talking to a good friend, he kind of said something in passing and ended up cluing me in and tipping me off to maybe what Rabbi Yerucham means here, that this deep idea that Hashem is alone, he isn't, does not require anything else. He cannot be compared. He is Yachid Ba'olamo, he is Vayi Erev Eivoker Yom Echad. Anything else he cannot be compared. He is, he is, he is, he is.

9:12 There is this attribute that can be compared to that and that also manifested and embodied, called being alone, self-sufficient, not needing anything else, not comparing himself to anyone else. Being alone, self-sufficient, not needing anything else, not comparing himself to anyone else, this theme of levadoness, of self-sufficient, being your own world, yachid be'olamo, it's actually a very popular concept, no-transcript that Bilaam says that he gazes on them from the heights and from the mountaintops.

10:08 And there is a people that dwells apart, not reckoned amongst the other nations. Targum Yoinison says that. Why will they merit the future world? They live alone. They will inherit the future world that these people behold. They are able to possess the future world because they also dwell alone. They don't follow the rules of others, they do not follow the same goals, aspirations, political agendas and social cravings, success, that the rest of the world follow.

10:48 They have their own sort of success, their own scale and barometer of Hatzlocha. That's how they measure their own wins and losses. Totally different they, because of this attribute of being levado, being dwelling alone, that is what enables the inheriting of paradise for us, again, the concept of levado, pesachim, pesach to Pesachim, tractate paschal lamb. I don't know what it's called Pesachim, pesachsesachim, tractate Paschal Lamb. I don't know what it's called Pesachim Pesachs. I'm not even sure what that word means, but the Gemara says, in a rather exciting Gemara, as to figuring out some background of what happened when Avram was thrown into the Kivshon Ha'esh Reboinah shel oylam eirev etzal v'atzel esat tzadik mi kivshon ha'esh.

11:43 The Gemara is talking about what happened when Avram Avinu was thrown into the fiery furnace by Nimrod and the angel said let us go down and do something. Hashem said ani yachid ba'olam mi, I am one, I am singular. I am one, I am singular. I am not compared, alike, reckoned to anything else in the world. I am one and he is also his own world. It is only fitting for the unique one to save the unique one.

12:25 I think we can put a pause on the more proofs of this concept of being a yachad, of being levado. Rabbi Yeruchim explains. It became something that also came to my attention after an entire chapter dedicated to this topic was found in Rabbi Lopiansky's new incredible work Ben Yeshiva, the Pathway of Aliyah. That success is had. Proper goals are established when you internalize that you are a yachid be'olamo, you are levado, and not that you are not dependent upon everyone else.

13:05 That's not what we mean. You may be dependent and maybe that's not the comparison exactly of Hashem and us, because Hashem obviously does not depend upon anything else, but the drift. What Chazal means to be showing us that v'nisco v'Hashem levado and also v'yevosar Yaakov levado, is that a Jewish person is one in his world and that success is had when he accomplishes that which is success only in his world. Let me explain. In Kohelis Dalet Dalad we hear Ver'isi ani es kol ha'mav es kol kishron, ha'ma'isa ki hi kinas Ish me'reyu gam zehevel rus ruach that. Ecclesiastes notes that what's futile is that skillful enterprises, that haslacha in this world is all based on man looking over his shoulder.

13:56 And the Ebenezer comments that most of what a person does, all that he is intending to do, endeavoring to accomplish, is because this is jealousy of one person to the next, not the type of jealousy of oh man, I wish I had that, but the type of jealousy that we call envy. Comparing notes To have a certain amount of looking over your shoulder of how do I measure up subconsciously in society, that type of kinah is being discussed here, says Rabbi Lopiansky, of kinahs being discussed here, says Rabbi Lopiansky, and therefore that leads to all of your grind and hustle is because of yirtzeh leh spoyer you don't want to be left back, held back in alchaveru, lesser, less adequate, less successful than your friends, v'shalo yiyyeh, uchasar mimenu.

14:57 You don't want to be left lacking in comparative ways, compared and contrasted from you to your friends. The Ebenezer gets very, very specific. Bedi Russo, who has the biggest house on the block, is how you will define your house. Umar Boushev which designer are they wearing? How fancy are their clothes? Well, that's how you will define how nice their clothes are. When you show up at the Pesach program. What style are people wearing? Which tie? It's all based on comparing as to what society is wearing and where you are on the hierarchy of Hatzlacha in that category.

15:39 Ubanov, how do you measure up with your kids? Well, my kids went to Brisk, my kids went to BJJ, my kids graduated from Yale, harvard, penn, um A'cholo, you guys had chicken on Shabbos, chicken on the bone. Yeah, we have lamb chops. V'chachmoso, you think you're smart? You think your IQ is this my IQ is that you got this score on SAT. Let me compare and see how I did in this comparative between two worlds of two people envy and jealousy that they're only measuring success based on where society's average is measuring success based on where society's average is, where the median is medium is, and where we fall on that track in comparing where we are to others and how society defines success.

16:29 But, tov Hashem, how well known are you? You make a chasana. How many people will show up? You put your name on the invitation that he'll be there to shake your hand. How well respected are you? That's not living levado. That is society's definition of success. To juxtapose, to differentiate two different items that are set side by side, how they balance up, how everyone weighs up who's smarter, who's better. That is the opposite of Lovato, being in your own world, where success is defined based on. Well, let us describe, actually in perfect clear, scintillating clarity, how success is defined, now that, hopefully, it's clear how we do not define success.

17:19 Gamar, sanhedrin, lamed Zayin, amad, aleph Lefikach, nivra, odom Yechidi A person is created singularly. Isn't that interesting? Nobody's like you. There's only about four or five different facial features that could change. We're only working with a nose and eyes, some cheeks, some ears, some hair, but yet with the very, very few facial features, even the slightest little twitch one millimeter in this direction and the entire world, billions of people, nobody looks the same. As they say that there's an endangered species in the world.

18:04 Every single individual is an endangered species. Reb Shlomo Volba would say. Reb Yaakov Volba, his great grandson, truly would say there's nobody like you. You got to save the, whatever your name is, because you're the last of your kind, otherwise you will go extinct forever. The Gemara says why were you created, created unique, special, different, even if that's weird, even if that's obese, even if that's somebody that's lacking intelligence, but nobody else is like you to teach you? If you hurt one person, you murder one person.

18:47 You have wrecked the entire world. You save one person, you sustain one Jewish soul from the Jewish people. It is ascribed to you, it is credited to you, it goes into your bank account as if you have sustained an entire world, because each individual person is a Yochid Bifnei Atzmo and success in that world cannot be defined by comparing it to anyone else. The type of mindset that's needed to be a Yavossar Yaakov Levado to define success. Like the Gemara says Anita, even if everyone says you're a Russia, there's an oath that you have to make before you come into this world and you begin to graduate from University of Fidesz into University of.

19:45 Even if everyone tells you that you're righteous, you should still be in your eyes like a Russia. That's a little weird Because, ladies and gentlemen, no matter what anyone else says, how anyone would compare, none of that is heard, because each person is an olam male. And the way to define success, ben Zoma tells us. He says it in concrete, easy-to-know terms. How do you define success?

20:25 How do you answer the question of defining what you are as a yachid b'fnei atzmo? How smart you are. Listen to this. The Ma'aral makes this point. How smart are you? How low made me kol adam? Listen to this. The morale makes this point. How smart are you? Halome Mikol Adam? It has nothing to do with how you compare to anyone else, but totally on the opposite end of the spectrum. What can I absorb? What can I stand to become smarter with? There's no one else here that you go so far as to say that I actually, in my world, want to grab everything that I can to become a smarter person.

21:07 That level of flipping it on its head. That's a chacham. How do you define strength? Is it how you weigh up against somebody else or, says Ben Zoma, you against yourself, the man in the mirror? Strength is how naturally weak are you in your battle with yourself. There's no division or rivalry against another team that needs to be beat. It is just you in your world. Egebor umoshel beruchay melech edir that strength To be wealthy.

21:54 Which tie are you wearing? How large is your house? Immediately, you've crossed into comparing and now you're no longer a yachid b'fnei atzmo, a yachid b'olamo, you're not nivra yachidi anymore. But Ben Zoma says it's not some sort of well, you're a nebuch, you don't have much money, so you might as well be happy with what you got. But sort of well, you're a nebuch, you don't have much money, so you might as well be happy with what you got, but hardly that. Somebody who is so blind to the outside world that only knows what he has because that's what God gave him. And what does that mean? That you have your own world with your own obligations in your world. So clearly God gave you whatever it is that you need, not a penny less and not a penny more. And you understand in your world that that sustains everything to get to your goal, that level of prospering that is totally independent.

22:42 That's asheros, that's wealth. And let's put it into one concrete sentence to define everything that we see in this Mishnah. And this is how eloquently Rabbi Lopiansky put it. How do you measure a it? How do you measure a person? How do you measure your success? Well, it is simple the percentage of each person's mission in this world that he accomplishes is the measure of who he is. Is the measure of who he is? Again, you're in your own world and you have a job, and it is not comparative to anyone else.

23:23 It cannot be contrasted. It is just you versus you with an obligation and you've been given everything that you need. So the percentage of each person's mission that he accomplishes in his world is the measure of who he is. It is totally based on if I have an ability to learn and I push myself to understand. Well, can you have an honest conversation with God and say I've done my all and I know it? Then you are an absolute stud. Your IQ level? What someone else asked in sheer?

24:03 That's in a different planet. It has absolutely nothing to do with planet Earth. That's all on planet Mars. How to get into the wildcard race and win the pennant? You have to beat other teams, at least if you aren't the worst team, but you can slip in by the wildcard. That's all comparing and trying to outdo and become someone that makes the playoffs and has success and becomes the champion. You don't have to have the most wins, you just need to beat them at their game. That is all the opposite of what being levado means. I judge myself based on what I have to do in this world and how much I have accomplished out of that mission.

24:47 That is hatzlacha, what Yenim does, what Yenim says, which people are jealous and pushing themselves to unhealthy extremes because they're comparing and contrasting and jumping from planet to planet. That is the antithesis of living, as To be an Olam Yechidi means I had a good day, if I can honestly say that. I pushed myself in my struggles. I looked myself in the mirror and overcame some sort of attribute in a healthy way, in a slowly progressing way, with my kuykhas, with my attitude. If we had this mindset, there would be no low self-confidence issues, there would be no such sort of struggle with my self-worth and my self-image.

25:37 That only begins when somebody begins to compare, as if there's some sort of norm of what's supposed to be. That's treif. That's false. That's like the chazir. It is totally showing and flaunting and snoring and and meshing. Life's like Passover. We don't mish, we don't go to other people's houses. We don't. In the world of Ruchnius, we don't. You do what you have to do with your blinders on to accomplish your goal. And what Yenim thinks, what friends say, what others may critique you about, well, they don't know and they probably are not even half as clear about your understanding of that.

26:21 I am a yachad bifnei atzmo and I have a job in this world and I'm pushing that accomplishment further and closer to the intended outcome and accomplishing of my goals. That's what it meansivoser Yaakov Levado. He redefined success. He lived in his own world of not anything else, of the social wants and norms. Levado that, he said. And the others continue to say yesh li kol, I have everything, even if they don't have a dime to their name, a penny to their name, a pruta to their name, not even an iser Italki, because they knew that what I need to do in this world.

27:04 I'm clear about what my jobs are and if my heart's beating and I'm working towards that goal, then it matters not what anyone else thinks or how they value success, because I'm in my own world, I am. That's what it means. That's what it means that, just like Avram Avinu is a, there's this attribute of being alone. That's what it means that, just like Avram Avinu is a yachid and Hashem is a yachid, there's this attribute of being alone, alone in the world in the most beautiful, peaceful way, struggling through the dark of night, but with such a clarity of where you're supposed to be and moving towards accomplishing that A Yavassar, yaakov, levado.

27:59 Such a clarity of where you're supposed to be and moving towards accomplishing that. You can always look to family members and friends for help, but don't ever compare your jobs, compare your IQs, compare your car, compare your house, compare your spouse. You live in your own world. You have your own obligations. That is the world that you live in. And now how we define success? Internalize it, repeat it over and over and over the percentage of each person's mission that he accomplishes in his world. That's how you define success and no other way.

28:41 Take that mindset and then see how happy you are, how great life is, how fulfilling it is and how you can't wait to wake up every single morning to accomplish another percentage of what your mission is in your world.