Parshas Tazria: The Worst Wedding Guest

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Balance is crucial.

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To have the perfect amount of gravity Keeps us on the planet, doesn't pull us off of the planet.

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To have the perfect balance, driving right inside of the lane, it'll be pitch perfect safety.

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Balance in your ruchnius, balance in your ketchup and mustard ratio.

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Balance, k'chot ha'sairah, is what we are very much interested in.

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The Rambam's famous opinion about balance is that it must be had in all midos.

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There is the derech HaMamutzna, there is that middle of the road path that should be selected in every single Mida by every Jewish person.

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Too much anger, too far to the right, then you'll become enraged at everything, you'll hate life and people will hate you.

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But to be so bland, to be so uncaring that nothing should get you angry, not even a no, that isn't proper either.

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You should not be treaded upon, but rather find the find that perfect balance of the right amount of anger Master, the perfect amount of seriousness and happiness to be joyful and fearful at the same time.

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Balance, that's the famous opinion in Shita of the Rambam.

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It's life's work to find that perfect balance in all areas of our life.

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But there is, however, one area, one media, so wretched, that is outlawed from this concept, says the ramba, there is.

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There is one sin, one mindset that is even more damning than the rest, that there isn't any negotiating with this terrorist.

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There isn't a middle ground, a middle road.

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There is only destroying it to its bitter end, and the balance can only be had when you separate yourself from it as far as possible.

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What is this wretched meter?

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You ask Gaiva Haughtiness, that when one thinks of himself in a very prideful way, an exaggerated sense of self, an exaggerated form of believing, one is more important than he actually is, a show-off, somebody that will make excessive or unjustified claims about himself, preaching about his abilities, even going as far as to put others down because of his gaiva.

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It will not be tolerated, it will not be had.

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It's part of an epic essay, a treatise.

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And it will not be had.

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It's part of an epic essay, a treatise.

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In Pirkei Avos, the Rambam is discussing why it is that when Rabbi Levitas, the man from Yavne, said the famous words of Ma'od Ma'od, have a Shafal Ruach'od, be very, very of low spirit, be extremely humble, the Rambam goes into detail.

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Why the ma'od ma'od?

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Why here is there such an encouraging of humility?

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And here the Rambam goes on his holy rant of because there is no room for even the slightest amount of gaiva, of gasois, haruach.

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And it's an important topic today because when the gentleman will receive that horrible news, when the doctor should enter into the room in his holy clothing.

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Yes, the doctor, the Kohen, who shows up to be the bearer of bad news that the MRI came back and it's tragic.

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He's got white splotches everywhere.

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The fellow has been speaking lush in horror, chirping endlessly like a bird.

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He has now desecrated his holy covenant with the Almighty.

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He has pretty much nullified his Ruach Memalala in the fact that he has a soul that speaks.

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He's used that for the wrong purposes.

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The Kohen tells him yeah, it's confirmed.

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The MRI shows Tsaras.

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Your bookshelves are covered in white, splotchy, scaly, acne-like tzaraas.

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It's on your clothes, it's on your house.

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This is a bad one, a stage five tzaraas.

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Why don't you take a week off, take a vacation?

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I suggest spending some time thinking about life and how you came to this situation, think about what you can do to prevent this in the future, and I'll come in check back up with you in a week.

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We'll see how you're doing.

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A week later.

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The Kohen should venture out to go and find this Mitzorah, the man, the sinner, the one who was excommunicated temporarily.

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And lo and behold, beautiful, he has done some real thinking.

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The Saras has healed itself, the Saras in the home has now melted away and it's time for the fellow to go back into the camp.

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Maybe stop by Eshatorah and repent and learn a bit more.

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And the final instructions from the doctor, from the Kohen, is let's get your karbon in order, your sacrifice, and we'll be on our way.

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The sacrifice is to be exactly what the doctor ordered Two live pure birds, some cedar wood, some crimson stuff, some hyssop.

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And Rashi tells us why is it?

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There is the inclusion of cedar wood in his karban.

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Why does the leper bring eight eras, says Rashi?

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Because disease ailments, aka.

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In this scenario, it comes because of your haughtiness.

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You sinned because you are haughty, you think it's all about you, it's your world.

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You don't care what your words mean and how they land on other people.

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Disease inflicts you.

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A message has been sent to you by the Almighty.

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Shape up or ship out.

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Hence the symbolism in the Karbon of eight eras A cedar tree.

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Why?

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Because you're haughty and high like a cedar tree.

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A cedar tree towers above the other trees, holds himself in a very lofty way, in a gasos haruach way.

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So it's very fitting that you have a cedar tree.

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It'll probably keep you good company and hopefully it will impart to you the lesson that lower yourself in front of Hashem, lower yourself in front of yourem, lower yourself in front of your friends.

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Find some humility and we won't have to do this again.

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Gasos haruach, at the source and root, is one of the causative factors of sin.

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I'd like to ponder together with y'all today about why it is that here, specifically the area of Gaiva of haughtiness, that it is the catalyst for sin.

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And why is it that the Rambam out of all Midos will not negotiate at all with the Yetzirah, will not show us the middle way, but tell us, on the contrary, to distance ourselves as far as possible from it?

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Why is Gaiva haughtiness so bad?

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And to answer this question, I hope we will gain a new outlook on life, a new outlook on self worth, our job in life and how, if we can internalize this lesson, we can refrain from sin and learn to submit to the holy law, which will bring us life, peace and tranquility.

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The answer is as follows it all comes based on an epic medrash, chapter 11,.

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The answer is as follows and it all comes based on an epic medrash, chapter 11, when Rabbi Yirmiah tells us, after expounding different p'sukim in Mishlei, rabbi Yirmiah tells us that this world is like a wedding, a wedding in which God, with his wisdom, set up all of the chairs and tables in the wedding hall.

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A world Further.

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God invited different plants and trees, a band organized the food, the catering, brought everything to the Beis Hamishta, to the Hasenah Hall.

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We have a beautiful globe and then, finally, the guests arrive Adam and Chava, the guests to come and rejoice at the Bal.

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Simcha's Simcha.

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The world's a wedding and it's all a big celebration of the honor and glory of Hashem.

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Ato Gabor, ato God isd Ato' G-d is the ruler of the world and he has invited us to be the guests when we are with the rejoice in trying to bring merriment to Hashem.

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Well then it works out really well for us, because God is giving good.

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You get rib steaks and fancy wine, but it's Hashem's party and Geiva is a misplaced sense of who you are at the party.

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The Medrash explains it inub Yerucham, in his classic way.

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He shows us that Ge'iva is where you forgot you are a guest.

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And when they were calling the balsam, the choson the kala into the wedding right at the beginning for the very first time.

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Please welcome our chos the kala into the wedding right at the beginning for the very first time.

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Please welcome our chasen and kala HaKadosh Baruch Hu.

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You enter in the big and holy HaKadosh Baruch Hu, the Baal Simcha, and right then and there, one of the guests should step in front of the chasen kala and he'll be the center of attention.

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He, with his misplaced self-identity, believes him, believes himself to be the Baal Simcha, the man in charge and the party to be for him.

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With a high head, he jumps into the middle of the circle, people awkwardly standing around.

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Does this guy understand what's going on here?

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Clearly not.

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He's off his rocker.

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He, a person, a haughty person, begins to dance with the chassan's father, just in the middle there.

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He pulls in the Rosh Yeshiva, everyone awkwardly standing about what is going on here.

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The chassan and kala have no idea what to make of it.

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That's the scene, the actions of a haughty person.

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It isn't your wedding, sir.

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It's to make a Kiddush Hashem and for you to dance, circling around and bringing joy, dancing.

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Ketzam Arakhtim to be Mishameach Hashem, the Choson Kavva and his family, kasos Haruach.

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It's awkward.

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It's a person not understanding really any part of his avodah.

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When you walk with a held head high, the gemara says with haughtiness, you're pushing your high head is pushing back on Hashem's shechina.

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You are walking into the kitchen and calling the shots as to when they should bring the food and it's not your simcha.

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Lower yourself, understand your place.

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Have some respect.

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That is why one of the many reasons why Gaiva is so horrible, of course sins come out everywhere and gasos haruach would be punishable when they go in.

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Because when you don't understand your place, how many mistakes are you going to make?

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How many excessive, unjustified claims against others and misdeeds will you carry out?

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So learn to be a guest and Stop being the fake host.

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Live in the real world, but so are man Leopard.

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Get your cedar tree, put it into your carbon and recognize how you are acting so lofty and lower yourself.

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I got to read this following essay that the Rambam brings in this part of Pirkei Avos, chapter four, mishnah four, and the description of what it was like in the best day of a great man's life, what he found joy in, extreme joy in, and how impactful the story is in our discussion.

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Here, says the Rambam I found in a sefer, a book of characteristics, that there was one holy, pious fellow.

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They asked him and they said Ezeh Yom Hu, shesim Chachbo, yoser Mikol Yomecha, which was the happiest day of your life?

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Think about it for a second Maybe the day of your wedding?

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Maybe he should answer the day he made a lot of money, or maybe the day that he accomplished something great in the spiritual world.

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But did he answer that?

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Hardly, omar.

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He said it was a day I was on a boat and I was put in steerage.

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I got the worst spot the bottom of the Titanic, stuck amongst the clothing and the barrels.

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In the equipment room there were some fancy people up at the top, wealthy people.

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I was sitting down below in my spot.

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All of a sudden I heard the stairs when someone was coming down and he referenced that he needed to use the restroom.

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I was obviously very low.

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I was sitting behind some barrels.

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I was just trying to relax.

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He didn't see me and he went to the bathroom and urinated on top of me and I was bewildered.

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For a second Gather myself and understand the azus that just happened, kind of the shocking, unfortunate occurrence V'chai Hashem and by the life of Hashem.

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Lo ka'o v'nafshi l'masayu klal.

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But I didn't get angry, v'lo es'oder mimenu kochi.

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I didn't get strong and begin a big fist fight, and I rejoice greatly that there isn't anything lower than this to be at the very bottom in the steerage of a ship and to be urinated upon.

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But I was so lowly, so humble, so submissive to the almighty, so lowly in front of others, that even still I was not upset and did not have any ill feelings.

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Feelings, and the Rambam continues explaining.

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From this essay, he continues to tell us these are the levels of which one should seek in his humility and in his lowliness to not care what others do to him and to accept others and higher, the higher being and lowering ourselves.

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Ma'od of ma'od, very much so should you be Shaf al-ruach, and it is for exactly that reason that your salad, your compound mixture, your cocktail of a carbon is to also include Shnitolah, asve'ezov Rashi says.

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Matak Anasso, what is this guy to become?

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What's his help?

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What's the medicine?

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The Yisra'pa that he should be healed.

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Lower yourself, lower yourself from your haughtiness Like a worm and like a hyssop.

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The lowest of the low, the bottom, should be where you feel yourself to be in your humility.

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It's a touchy topic, because self confidence can be even more demoralizing and paralyzing than any other feeling in the world, but truly one that understands humility and taking from our muscle.

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One who understands his place in the world, that you are a guest at the simcha of God, will understand that there isn't a more empowering feeling than to lower yourself in front of the choson doimele melech, the glorious host that gives you strength, it gives you power and gives you a point, it gives you an agenda, it enables progress.

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I'll never forget it.

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It was funny at the time.

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It's a great joke, actually, some depth to it.

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When my grandfather, my saba, he told me that there's a man, his name is Adam HaRishon, and he walks up to Hashem and says Hashem, what's so great about this world?

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I can create a world.

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I have the Chachma to do it.

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Maybe I could make another planet work out and I'll go there.

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So Hashem says okay, keep in mind, this is a joke here.

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And the man, adam, bends down to get some dirt to start making his new world.

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And Hashem says whoa, whoa, whoa, get your own dirt.

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Just to say it always landed on me, this joke, that it isn't our party, it isn't about the progress of our own careers and own wants and wills.

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Sometimes we get that confused, but it's what the Baal Simcha wants.

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If the Baal Simcha wants Chalun for the main course, well then with his infinite wisdom, then the Chalun will be the main course, even if you think that it should go a different way.

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You're not in charge.

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Sometimes we we get hurt easily because we think we know what's right and we think that the music needs to be turned down at the Hasina or that people need to dance around us or why aren't they celebrating with me?

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Because we think that we are in charge.

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But when you recognize that you are not and with humility you understand that there is only one Baal Simcha, that no one can really hurt you.

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You don't care that people aren't giving you attention, aren't following your exact will or giving you the respect you deserve.

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We're all just guests here.

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It's a very important medrash.

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It tells us how to stay away from so many ill feelings, friends, low thinking and put this world into a new perspective.

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And it's interesting Because the world is a wedding.

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There are certain people that as they grow they can bring more simcha to the balsimcha.

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You know when you're at a wedding and someone walks in in the back and doesn't make too big of a rash, too big of a happening, but then somebody famous, a big rabbi will come.

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Everyone sings and dance and brings the rabbi over to the balsimcha.

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It brings more simcha, it makes more of a potent impact to the family.

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That's celebrating the greater person that you become.

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The Rambam tells us that it's in the laws of tefillah and prayer, all the different bows that we are to have certain bows and certain brachos, and the greater that we become, it can become so great as to become, let's say, the melech of Klal Yisrael.

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There are different amounts of bows.

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It may differ for you.

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If you're a Kohen, you may bow more than the regular amounts of times.

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If you're a melech, the Rambam tells us, a halacha, you're supposed to keep your head bowed the entire Shbonasrei.

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Because with the step forward of your greatness, every time we do bring more glory to Hashem, a commensurate amount and step forward of humility is needed.

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More bowing, more submission, humility the Ramban calls it in his famous letter Yigeres Ramban, when you should fight and embrace humility, humility to lower yourself from all people and understanding that you're not in charge, you say no to doing certain things, you distance yourself from sin, these great things, the next world, the heavenly divine presence will rest on you, the Ramban tells us.

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When it comes to it's the greatest midah, it's all coming together.

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We embrace humility, we bring a hyssop, we lower ourselves and that is the healing dose, the medicine To not get saras, to not get diseases.

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When we recognize the world is a wedding and it's Hashem's wedding, we act nicely, properly, lovingly to the other guests.

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We care passionately to dance at the wedding.

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We care passionately, fervently, that all of the wants and wills of the Baal Simcha should go ke tikkunam uprateh v'diktuker.

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The right song should be played, the right dance should be had.

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This is a lesson from the Karbon brought by the man who had Saras.

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This is the symbolism that we should let make an impact on our minds to become more like.

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This is the symbolism that we should let make an impact on our minds To become more like hisp and a worm, a tolas.

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We should say no to snobbishness, no to misunderstood, misplaced pride.

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We should say yes to dancing strongly, joyfully in the world which is a big wedding celebrating the honor and glory of the Baal Simcha HaKadosh Baruch Hu.

Parshas Tazria: The Worst Wedding Guest

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