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Such a demoralizing, depressing debacle that at the very foot of the same mountain, that a short while ago we witnessed prophecy, we received the Torah, that there in the very same place, thousands of Jewish people engaged in the crime of all crimes, and a vo de Zara serving a golden calf, subscribing some godly characteristics to an object, a chate unlike any other.
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And Chita Egel, the sin of the golden calf, so severe that Khazal tell us in order for a full rectification, a full kappara to be had, the sin must be sliced and diced and divvied up to be person by person, small suffering throughout the generations, that this chitah egel should be sprinkled upon, so that full kapara can be had.
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So that every single sara that we go through today, you should see a couple struggling with infertility, it should never be known of.
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There's a piece of khitah egal that's a part of it.
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When someone is suffering, unable to find their perspective match their shiddach, and they can't understand why.
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Well, there's a piece of a kapara of an atonement of that original sin of the khitah egel that is to blame, to point fingers at.
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We are obligated, it would seem, to peel the story apart piece by piece, to try to understand how it is that the dardea of the all-seeing enlightened generation was able to so precipitously and rapidly descend into such a sin.
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And there's a soferno that gives us some insight.
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It changes the game a bit.
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But it's eye-opening.
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It's powerful, and we will, God willing, be able to have a different approach to some modern day suffering.
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And help us flip the script on some of or at least one of life's great challenges.
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And we begin with the actual Pusik itself.
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And it was when Moses was getting close to the camp.
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And Moshe became enraged by Yishlach Vaichmi Yodo Esalukos, and he spiked from his hands the tablets by Yashaber, Yashaber Osam Tachasahar, and he smashed them at the foot of the mountain.
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The Safrono points out that the reason for the spiking of the Lugos, pardon the plosives, is for not only the Avodazara dun, but Moshe became so aroused with anger that Shira for Moshe saw, says the Sephardno, Shahayusemehem Bekilkel Shaasu.
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He saw that they were celebrating in their damage.
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That you're delighting in the performance of your evil deeds, that he saw the macholos, the key word here, the dancing, the flute playing, the moon walking and hokey pokeying around that golden calf, that you should celebrate the sin?
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No, no, no, that will not be tolerated.
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And this led Moshe to thinking Shiyukad Latakana Mois it would be impossible to straighten the bend Shiaksaru, that they should do any chuva and repentance.
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For if they're happy and they don't have a sense of guilt, then what hope is there?
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Ladies and gentlemen, Rabiruchim points out that the straw that broke the camel's back, the nail in the coffin for the Jewish people and the Chita Egel was the Simcha that they displayed in their destruction.
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Smashed the tablets.
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God forbid happened, but if it wasn't done rejoicing and dancing like Simcha's Torah, well then maybe we could have escaped unscathed, perhaps with that same holy set of tablets.
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The sense of guilt, the sense of pain and distress that the Jewish people would have felt, a sense of sadness that they had been seduced into committing such a sin that pain and guilt may have saved them.
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And Basman Haza, the topic of guilt, the talkpic of that emotional discomfort that one will feel when he's messed up.
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It's a very pressing matter for Ingullus.
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We are prone to some mess-ups, and no one underneath God's beautiful blue sky is free from challenges, and everyone does sin.
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But the guilt afterwards can feel even worse.
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The unhappiness, the feeling of I'm a good for nothing, a low self-worth, it can be draining.
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We can want to get rid of the guilt.
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However, the flipping of the script here is that it would seem that if one does feel ashamed of their sin, a bit discomforted, uncomfortable, by sleeping in by accidentally flipping on a light switch on Chavez, well you have hope.
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You have free will and you have a chance to improve.
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The guilt should ring in your ears as hope.
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For if one should become numb, desensitized, God forbid, to be some mayach bikil shao, to moonwalk and celebrate as you violate prohibitions, you are hopeless.
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And you will and cannot improve that the guilt should be changed in our eyes.
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And it should be channeled.
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There's a horrible sickness in the world, you should know.
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In 2019, they did some studies, they ran some tests, they figured out just how many people suffer from CIPA.
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Cognitive congenital insensitivity.
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It is a sickness in which a person cannot feel pain.
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One in a hundred and twenty-five million people suffer from this, so it isn't very common.
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It is in fact extremely rare.
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But a person with CIPA could put their hand inside of a fire and they would just keep it there, not feeling any pain.
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Their nerves are numb, they feel nothing inside.
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The senses don't send the message of pain to the brain to then act by saving yourself.
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A person from suffering from CIPA may put his hand down on the stove, sitting inside of ice freezing cold, frigid, frostbite-causing water, and yet he will do nothing because he doesn't feel any pain.
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And bar Hashem, that one should say, for the feeling of pain.
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And here we're stretching the idea for even thank God for the feeling of a bit of guilt.
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I can't believe I just said Lashinhara.
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I can't believe I just slipped up again.
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That's a good thing.
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For if Moshi Rabinu would come down the mountain and see us accidentally flipping on a light switch on Shabbas, accidentally sleeping in, we missed our alarm clock, and we go, oh he Shrekloch, I can't believe I did that.
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I don't think he would slam down the tablets.
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There'd be some harsh rebuke, but we'd have a shot.
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We'd have a chance.
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So what is the right approach?
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How does one welcome or at least accept the guilt?
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Feel thankful that he can feel when something is off or wrong.
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And then how does he go about acting and turning over a new leaf?
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Well, we are told away by the best place to get the information from Akkadeshbar in the Torah by one of the worst sins, by the brotherly murder, Cayenne killing Hevel, when some jealousy was there, surely you're aware of the story.
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So when Hashem called out to the murderous brother and said, Ayekah, where are you?
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Hashem asked two separate questions.
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He said to Cayenne, Why are you upset?
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And Lama Nuflu Panecha.
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And why has your countenance fallen?
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Why are you sad?
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Do not be demoralized and depressed about the sin.
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Yes, you have messed up, but hello im Taitav says you can surely improve.
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If you continue to be wallowing in self-pity and depressed about your actions, feeling guilty and struggling from the worry and unhappiness that is setting in from the emotional discomfort of the guilt of the sin, well then, yeah, sin crouches at the opening.
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But that's not the approach.
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The approach is to understand and accept the guilt and then to channel it towards a mental state of haloim tetav se ace.
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I can choose with my vehicra to take the next step, to then set two alarms tomorrow morning, and to buy the Shabbos switch cover.
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That would be the right approach to flipping on the light on Shabbos, God forbid.
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To take the nerves, the senses that you feel, the guilt and the doubt and the pain, the congenital sensitivity that you can feel it, says and choose to do better in the future.
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The idea of guilt, we can even stretch it a bit further and try to flip the script on this and prove why it's actually a good thing if one does still feel an itch inside of him that I'm better than that.
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Maybe Sir Al Sarlanter said if a person wants to know where he's holding in life, how close he is to God, which rung of the ladder he is on a spiritual journey.
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Well, you cannot sense that based on how happy and excited you are about doing a mitzvah, but specifically by the pain that you feel when God's will is not taken care of.
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That is the mirror to your spiritual progression.
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The guilt, the feeling down of ugh, I messed up.
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That's wonderful.
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And then the next choice is I on to the next.
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I got this.
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Hello, I'm Taytov Se Ace.
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I can choose to do better in the future.
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The Egalazov it taught us.
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I guess sins do happen.
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Now it's our job to never succumb and never give in.
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But if God forbid, there's a slip-up, a word of lush and horror that escapes your lips.
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It's a oy shrekluch.
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But come on, I'm better than that.
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I got this.
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I am not going to wallow in self-doubt and self-pity, but thank you, Hashem, for letting me feel a bit guilty about the kilkul sha'asu.
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And that I'm not, God forbid, like the Seferno says, Same bit kilkul sha'asu, celebrating and the damage that I caused that led Mosh Abbain to spiking the tablets.
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Choose to do better after you do feel the guilt and discomfort.
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Remember that the pain is a blessing, is a braha.
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Or just imagine if you were totally numb to somebody, God forbid, slapping your mother.
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Could you stand by the wayside just letting it go?
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But of course you would be aroused and upset about the kilkol sha'asu.
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And when one feels that same or similar, or perhaps even the slightest bit of guilt, some emotional discomfort in a sin, let that cajole coax and galvanize oneself towards doing better in the future.